I still Get Excited when I pick up my kids at school

I know it can sound pretty corny, but it is true. I still can't wait to pick up my kids after school - sure it doesn't happen everyday and sometimes when they are home I wish they were at school. But for the most part, I really look forward to talking to them, asking them how they day was and hearing about their stories, what is important to them. Before I met my husband I always knew I would have kids and imagined picking them up at their school. When other people were thinking about what wedding dress they wanted, I was imagining how many kids I would have. Don't get me wrong I knew I would be doing some sort of work to keep the boat floating, but I still placed that scene in my head. Walking to get them and then hugging them and walking home together. This visualization worked, others did not. I can't be greedy. I am the co producer of We Love Our Children Family Expo - a two day event dedicated to family fun and education. It seems very important to me that regardless of your family make up, regardless of what profession you have sought out, regardless of finances, family must come first. Family First means happier employees, vibrant economies, less crime, better health - whatever it takes it is so important to make this commitment. Many of us already do it but all of us need to in order to make our lives better. sign up and you will have a chance to win a pass to the expo and more great prizes.
www.familyexpo.ca

WALKING IN THE MORNING

My hubby and I moved in together 20 years ago and bought our first dog on the day we moved in. We have had a dog ever since, so walking has become a huge part of our lives. Besides great physical activity, it has been a wonderful place to debate, converse, laugh and cry. About two years ago I started walking with neighborhood dogs and their parents around 8:30 every morning just after we sent the kids to school. It has remained a steady crew of moms and a dad who may also be identified nurses, educator, physiotherapist, marketer, philanthropist, peppered with the occasional weatherman, hair stylist and many more. Like most groups we have so much in common, but yet we come from different places, family makeups, schools, political ideologies etc. We arrive at different times, gather at the beginning of the path and start our conversations. Sometimes they begin with I was up all night worrying about this... or it may begin with why they heck are we at war. . . what is going on with our education system, regardless of whatever you agree or disagree with, your voice is heard. You leave awake. I guess what I am trying to say is you don't have to be alike to like someone. And in a world were we try so much to be alike - physically, spiritually, and mentally - it is so nice to get past that and see that what makes people different is what makes the world worth living in.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

The local grocery boutique was full of young dads with their toddlers, at first I thought this was cute, and then I felt I was getting a little hot under the collar. Before I start to complain about the fact that our hard work is only really celebrated one day a year, let me assure all those mommies who will stand by their men and let us know how good their husband is around the house - I get it. You love your husband. He is a good guy. I am not discounting this. . .but. . . oh yes there is a but, one day does not make up for all the double standards, constant guilt, raised up toilet seats (i live with all boys), on call 24 hours ( i am not a doctor) and so much more. Oh yeah, here is one - if you weren't so controlling, woman would be able to share more of the load. What about you can be anything you want to be as long as you can pick up the kids, make them a healthy meal, do their homework and put them to bed and then we can have a romantic evening. Paint the picture however you want, most of us will end this last statement by saying we are so blessed. Oh I forgot, you need to be in shape, look young and wear the latest styles. Don't get me wrong, I am being celebrated today, I received sweet gifts, crafty cards, good behavior, and supper will be made for me. I will be a suburban queen for the day. I too will cherish every moment of today and take full advantage. Tomorrow I will be on duty again. So picture this, I am upstairs in my jammies, under my warm and cosy duvet, watching 3 1/2 hours of Gone With The Wind - all hell is breaking loose downstairs and Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn. Happy Mothers Day!

FRIENDS FOREVER

I'm sure you've had the debate with friends. You ask "Are you on facebook?" Some reply, "get a hobby," and others will proudly stand up for this hobby. I love it. I am pretty busy, I have a job, I am a mother and I am involved in a lot of things. I walk every morning with my dog with some wonderful women in my neighborhood. I am not a computer geek by any means. I have no interest in computer games (except scramble on my iphone). Finally I have found a way to connect with friends without trying to phone, leaving messages, and waiting to hear back. Instantly I can send a message and receive them on all topics from kids to jobs, from witty messages to personal notes. I was so blessed to have some wonderful friends growing up. In Cape Breton, life for a kid, was pretty pleasantville. My bosum buddies were 7 girls aka "the crayons" (we went as crayons at halloween in 1980) and we shared some great times. There were break ups, hour long phone calls, crazy expeditions, the loss of parents and a million laughs. Sure we had our personal issues and sometimes they drifted us apart, but around my dinner table at night when I talk to my kids about growing up - the names Jackie, Melissa, Lisa, Kim, Allyson and Shawna come up all the time. We share coded sayings that only we can decode like "deader than dead" "i can't feel my nose" "snwp" and so many more. This morning I woke up to a note from one of them, with some old photos. It made me smile, like these women always have. Many people will touch your lives, but these seven girls find their way in my thoughts at least once a day. Call them your BFF's, call them your Bosum Buddies, call them friends forever, regardless I hope to see them together again soon. If that doesn't happen I guess facebook will have to do

WHAT GOES WRONG

I will admit my guilty pleasure is the occassional Entertainment Tonight, Regis and Kelly or TMZ, whenever I can take a few minutes to sit down and relax. Recently I caught an interview with Michael Douglas talking about his 30 year old son who just received a sentence of 5 years in prison for drug dealing some heavy duty drugs. Michael Douglas blamed the media (of course) for screwing up his kid, but he also blamed himself. He talked about not being there for him, not recognizing the signs of addiction and not getting help soon enough. Of course, all in hindsight, but probably very true. Having children is a wonderful thing, but it is a lifelong job. Yes, it is the best job most of us will ever have, but maybe it is not for everyone. We talk about the social pressures to go to university, get married and of course, have children. We all do it. When are you going to have a baby? Those who don't have children are often seen as selfish, uncaring and not responsible. I think it is just the opposite making a decision to not have children is probably the most responsible decision some people will make. This may seem ironic from a person who holds an event called "We Love Our Children", but it is because I love children so much that I think we must look long and hard about the decision to have children. I have placed my family first. I have made a commitment to ensure the skills that my great parents gave me are used in my daily life. This can't prevent heartache, mistakes, or tragedy, but the commitment you make to be there for them creates a higher percentage of a success rate. I would bet that in the first five years of Michael Douglas son's life, his parents imagined great things for their child, somewhere along the way he got lost, divorce, celebrity, absentee parenting. We are responsible to our families, communities and countries to put family first, to create responsible, educated and loving citizens and a caring world is much needed right now.

SONGS OF MY CHILDHOOD

Singing was always a big part of my home growing up - there were no professional entertainers but I think there were a lot of wannabees. My parents played their music on the record player and eight track, and my sister and I would listen until we memorized the lyrics. They also taught us songs and constantly sang throughout the house and thru osmosis we learned them. Then we got old enough to go to Girl Guide Camps and learned the campfire greats like kumbahyah and blowin in the wind.



Today I sing around my house trying to teach my kids those great songs like One Tin Soldier, Clementine and many more. Hard to compete I know, with the Black Eyed Peas. I also started reading poetry to my kids and am asking (forcing) them to learn to memorize and recite the poems back to me. I have recently considered this my responsibility. I began to lose sight of the importance of moving our history, stories and fables forward in place of sports, tv and computer time. Bad mommy, no really this is so important. So regardless of what you have to miss, or whether you are a lousy singer or poetry reader - take the time. Read a great fable, teach your kids a poem or put the fire on and sing campfires burning. Corny maybe but this is how memories are made

the haircut

Hair. . . most people worry about it, spend tons of money on it, and many are defined by it. Shirley Temple, Cher, Lady Gaga, over the years we have identified people by their hair. If you are not into celebrities - what about Albert Einstein, Anne of Green Gables, Stalin, Mao or Bob Marley. All recognizable primarily because of what's on top. This weekend my 8 year old son went from long curly locks to short wavy hair. It was a huge deal. Everywhere we went he was touched, petted and complimented on his ringlets. Sure there was the odd comment like "what would she like" or "your daughter has beautiful hair." But pretty secure in who he is, he didn't mind - the positive outweighed the negative. Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of hair, I use to pay people in university to brush my hair. While my dad was in hospital, he wanted his hair brushed and looking good, no matter how sick he was, his wavy white hair provided him with a certain dignity. Sure we can say to worry about our outward appearance is shallow. An industry that generates 7.5 billion dollars a year, shouldn't define us. My son learned this week that his hair does not define him, his quirky personality, smile and warmth are who he really is. After all hairless has its own category of celebrity - Kojak, songstress Sinead O'Connor and model Eve Salvail. Our family learned how freeing it can be to let go of something that you may think defines you and how little the outer layer is really important. That being said I just spent 45 minutes on my own hair. Alas back to "all things in moderation and moderation in all things". Just watched a great movie where hair plays a big role - "Grey Gardens" with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore - well worth watching. Come back and check Frenchys blog this week.