FRIENDS FOREVER

I'm sure you've had the debate with friends. You ask "Are you on facebook?" Some reply, "get a hobby," and others will proudly stand up for this hobby. I love it. I am pretty busy, I have a job, I am a mother and I am involved in a lot of things. I walk every morning with my dog with some wonderful women in my neighborhood. I am not a computer geek by any means. I have no interest in computer games (except scramble on my iphone). Finally I have found a way to connect with friends without trying to phone, leaving messages, and waiting to hear back. Instantly I can send a message and receive them on all topics from kids to jobs, from witty messages to personal notes. I was so blessed to have some wonderful friends growing up. In Cape Breton, life for a kid, was pretty pleasantville. My bosum buddies were 7 girls aka "the crayons" (we went as crayons at halloween in 1980) and we shared some great times. There were break ups, hour long phone calls, crazy expeditions, the loss of parents and a million laughs. Sure we had our personal issues and sometimes they drifted us apart, but around my dinner table at night when I talk to my kids about growing up - the names Jackie, Melissa, Lisa, Kim, Allyson and Shawna come up all the time. We share coded sayings that only we can decode like "deader than dead" "i can't feel my nose" "snwp" and so many more. This morning I woke up to a note from one of them, with some old photos. It made me smile, like these women always have. Many people will touch your lives, but these seven girls find their way in my thoughts at least once a day. Call them your BFF's, call them your Bosum Buddies, call them friends forever, regardless I hope to see them together again soon. If that doesn't happen I guess facebook will have to do

WHAT GOES WRONG

I will admit my guilty pleasure is the occassional Entertainment Tonight, Regis and Kelly or TMZ, whenever I can take a few minutes to sit down and relax. Recently I caught an interview with Michael Douglas talking about his 30 year old son who just received a sentence of 5 years in prison for drug dealing some heavy duty drugs. Michael Douglas blamed the media (of course) for screwing up his kid, but he also blamed himself. He talked about not being there for him, not recognizing the signs of addiction and not getting help soon enough. Of course, all in hindsight, but probably very true. Having children is a wonderful thing, but it is a lifelong job. Yes, it is the best job most of us will ever have, but maybe it is not for everyone. We talk about the social pressures to go to university, get married and of course, have children. We all do it. When are you going to have a baby? Those who don't have children are often seen as selfish, uncaring and not responsible. I think it is just the opposite making a decision to not have children is probably the most responsible decision some people will make. This may seem ironic from a person who holds an event called "We Love Our Children", but it is because I love children so much that I think we must look long and hard about the decision to have children. I have placed my family first. I have made a commitment to ensure the skills that my great parents gave me are used in my daily life. This can't prevent heartache, mistakes, or tragedy, but the commitment you make to be there for them creates a higher percentage of a success rate. I would bet that in the first five years of Michael Douglas son's life, his parents imagined great things for their child, somewhere along the way he got lost, divorce, celebrity, absentee parenting. We are responsible to our families, communities and countries to put family first, to create responsible, educated and loving citizens and a caring world is much needed right now.

SONGS OF MY CHILDHOOD

Singing was always a big part of my home growing up - there were no professional entertainers but I think there were a lot of wannabees. My parents played their music on the record player and eight track, and my sister and I would listen until we memorized the lyrics. They also taught us songs and constantly sang throughout the house and thru osmosis we learned them. Then we got old enough to go to Girl Guide Camps and learned the campfire greats like kumbahyah and blowin in the wind.



Today I sing around my house trying to teach my kids those great songs like One Tin Soldier, Clementine and many more. Hard to compete I know, with the Black Eyed Peas. I also started reading poetry to my kids and am asking (forcing) them to learn to memorize and recite the poems back to me. I have recently considered this my responsibility. I began to lose sight of the importance of moving our history, stories and fables forward in place of sports, tv and computer time. Bad mommy, no really this is so important. So regardless of what you have to miss, or whether you are a lousy singer or poetry reader - take the time. Read a great fable, teach your kids a poem or put the fire on and sing campfires burning. Corny maybe but this is how memories are made

the haircut

Hair. . . most people worry about it, spend tons of money on it, and many are defined by it. Shirley Temple, Cher, Lady Gaga, over the years we have identified people by their hair. If you are not into celebrities - what about Albert Einstein, Anne of Green Gables, Stalin, Mao or Bob Marley. All recognizable primarily because of what's on top. This weekend my 8 year old son went from long curly locks to short wavy hair. It was a huge deal. Everywhere we went he was touched, petted and complimented on his ringlets. Sure there was the odd comment like "what would she like" or "your daughter has beautiful hair." But pretty secure in who he is, he didn't mind - the positive outweighed the negative. Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of hair, I use to pay people in university to brush my hair. While my dad was in hospital, he wanted his hair brushed and looking good, no matter how sick he was, his wavy white hair provided him with a certain dignity. Sure we can say to worry about our outward appearance is shallow. An industry that generates 7.5 billion dollars a year, shouldn't define us. My son learned this week that his hair does not define him, his quirky personality, smile and warmth are who he really is. After all hairless has its own category of celebrity - Kojak, songstress Sinead O'Connor and model Eve Salvail. Our family learned how freeing it can be to let go of something that you may think defines you and how little the outer layer is really important. That being said I just spent 45 minutes on my own hair. Alas back to "all things in moderation and moderation in all things". Just watched a great movie where hair plays a big role - "Grey Gardens" with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore - well worth watching. Come back and check Frenchys blog this week.

Learn Where You Can

As a parent, most would agree you have very little time for yourself. Sure you can get a few minutes here and there to work out, read a couple of pages of a book, or catch a movie, but for the most part we are carting kids to activities, working to pay for all these activities, and cleaning our homes. So self improvement, or further education is hard to come by. A couple of years ago, I picked up an autobiography of Frederick Douglass, a much admired African American orator, who single handedly changed the lives of blacks by risking his life to abolish slavery. I picked the book up several times, and couldn't get through it. Recently, Hogan my oldest son, had to choose a black person to write a paper on for Black History Month. After much debate, he chose (or was convinced) to choose Frederick Douglass. As a family, we took advantage of Hogan's project. We camped out by the fire nightly and read the autobiography, watched a movie on this incredible man and answered questions by our kids like "why did white people think they were better than blacks?" "how could such a horrible thing happen?" "why did people stand by and let this happen?" These questions, lead us to many other questions, and answers came from mom and dad and our kids. I guess what made this project more than just a project, was how much we learned as a family, how important it is to look at history and how important it is to talk about these subjects with our kids. I always have good intentions, every New Year, I say am going to take a course at the Mount, last month I took a course at home, it cost no money and our family is better and brighter for it.

Stop and Smell your Children

I recall my sister telling me before the birth of my first child that after you get through labor, and hold your child, you will be overcome with this unbelievable feeling of love. A feeling you probably could never imagine being that strong. Well, her labor was 2 hours, mine was 24, so I wasn't sure how I would feel towards my baby. I tell this story a lot because through all that pain, I awoke the morningafter, (having fed and changed his diaper several times through the night) overcome with feeling of love. I really had never experienced this type of emotion. I held him, fed him and smelled him as much as i could in those early years. I then had a second and did the same thing to my youngest, only because he was the baby he seemed to require more hugging and smelling than the eldest. Last week, the 11 year old came home with unexpected tears in his eyes, he had not made it through to next round of a contest involving french dictee. I was like don't worry about it, (knowing he has surpassed my academic career a couple of years ago), it didn't matter he wanted to achieve this goal. So mature in his opinions of late, so focused on his interests, but in that moment, he was my baby. I hugged him and then all of sudden I smelled him, he smelled like an adolescent. I hug my kids all the time, but I don't always soak it up. Sometimes I take them for granted. Sometimes I forget that one day they will be on their own. Sometimes I forget how fast they grow. I promise myself I will never stop smelling my kids even when they start smelling like teen spirit. Seriously though, take the time to tell them you love them, hug them and smell them, and then relish in your accomplishment!

The Olympic Hangover

I would say I am a pop culture junkie. I admit not proudly, that i love ET, have been known to watch more than one episode of TMZ, and when in a large Metropolitan American city,my husband says I see celebrities that are not really celebrities. I collect dolls from 50 and 60's cartoons and tv shows, and have been crowned queen of tv theme songs knowledge on more than one occassion. I guess why I bearing my chests is . . . it makes it easier to understand why i am addicted to the Olympics. I love the collection of HBC apparell, love the mascots, love the Opening Ceremonies and I love the quest for Gold. I am your typical canuck, I want to win but not at all costs, and i been heard to say 5th place is a good standing. My family is exhausted, we have been up every night, eyes glued to the TV, hugging at our first gold medal win and crying at the agony of defeat. I know there is poverty in our country and the money spent on an event like this does seem lavish, but I haven't been this proud of my country in years. I feel like I live in the most beautifulest, bestest country in the world, well that how my son put it. In a world where there is a lot of bad news, we have two weeks of a diversion. After that we will go back to the the many global problems. Today I am happy to be hungover, at least the Olympic kind.