Back in the Blogosphere

After a five months of vacation, and/or the mourning and celebrating of the life and loss of my dad. I am back to converse with myself, or anyone else who cares to chime in. This is my way of creating my own network of women or men who wish to discuss the issues of regular everyday life - the good and the bad without actually leaving you home. Sure it would be great if we could all get together, but you know,"we are all very busy".

Like every morning I wake up stressfully getting my kids and husband ready for their day - oh yeah let me remind you it is 2009. But the first hour in the morning I put on my bra and apron and journey back to the 1950's and do it all. By 8:30 I am back to the present,l and take my dog for a walk with some friends in the forest and solve as many of the world's problems as we can in 45 minutes. It is so great, I get a hike in, my dog gets a walk with her friends and we all get to blow off some steam. I hope into the car and feel great! I have exercised my mind and body and ready to start the day. What is your morning ritual and how do you start you day?

THE GREAT ESCAPE

I highly recommend the movie THE GREAT ESCAPE featuring Steve MacQueen. I brought this home in the dark days of winter, and my kids have watched it about 5 or 6 times since. But this blog is about a different type of GREAT ESCAPE, this weekend I went for girls weekend with some old friends that I used to work with at Metro Guide Publishing. Years ago, I worked for the magazine publisher in Halifax, and from that job I gained a wealth of experience, but more importantly some amazing friends. For the past 5 years or so, we have been venturing down to a beautiful country home along the French Shore. We look forward to it all year, and then when it arrives all of us run from homes, hop into our designated drives, and hightail it down there for a weekend of girl time. We do a little Frenchys' shopping, we eat like queens and we talk. We get updates on marriages, deaths and children. We laugh hysterically, and cry comforted by "our kind". It is chick weekend - we talk for almost 48 hours straight. The end comes too quick, and we leave eager to come back next year. We are all busy juggling our lives, but this short weekend provides us with an opportunity to remind us that we are something more than mothers, wives, sisters, caregivers, etc. - we are women! Hooray! Hear me roar! Sunday arrives and we return to our dens where our cubs await us. I walk in, and everyone tells me how much they missed me, and it is great! Shortly after this homecoming, I start to prepare supper, discover our dog has had diarrhea in the living room, discover ants in the kitchen and realize my son hasn't completed his school project yet. I am exhausted, and start to daydream about next years weekend - only 364 days to go! Why do I only do this once a year? What is your best girls' weekend?

Nothing to fear but fear itself

Truer words have never spoken, and I'm almost embarassed to use them in the context of my life, because I really have not had too much to fear. I recently heard Joe Schlesinger, the journalist, interviewed on CBC's The Current. He talked about his life, and how his Czech parents had to send him off to London at age 10 to flee the Nazis, and he never saw them again. Imagine the fear he must have felt, how did he overcome it, to move on to become a successful journalist and human being.

When I turned 40, I was diagnosed with health anxiety. I had recently miscarried, left my job to work at home, and moved into a new house. In September of my 40th year, I developed "real"pain in my abdomen, and an unbelievable anxiety which stemmed from my belief I was going to develop some fatal disease. I saw my GP, a physiotherapist, and therapist. Read a few books on depression, and talked a lot to family and friends. If I wasn't dying, I thought I was going crazy. I lost about a year in my life, but made it through to the other side. Simply put, I feared my own fears. In a conversation in the park with my husband, we talked about how I could get better, what were the tools I needed. Not knowing my son was listening (he was about 5 at the time) he said, "whoever you were before you got sick, be her again". Easier said than done, but the answer was that simple. I had no definite fears, they were ones I created. Weeks went passed and with the help of medication, my GP and family I moved forward.

I still get scared but instead of curling up and letting it control me, I try to face it head on. It works for me. Thanks Mr. Roosevelt for those great words of wisdom. How do you deal with fear?

Bring back the sandwich

Bring back the sandwich, Okay maybe you didn't know it was gone. Well when I was kid my dad searched high and low for the best sandwich. He worked on perfecting it himself. He made a wicked reuben, egg salad, western and ingonish sandwich, but he continued his search wherever he travelled. He loved Sydney's Ike Delicatessen for its smoked meat on rye and was blown away by the size of the sandwich at the Carnegie Deli in New York. He appreciated a good Club Sandwich, but pushed it away if it didn't have real turkey. I thought it was fitting on my last trip to Cape Breton, I would celebrate his life with one of his favorites - the veggie sandwich from the Herring Choker Deli outside of Baddeck. This is truly free advertising because I am over the moon about this place. The people are great! the service is first rate, and the sandwiches are big, fresh and the bread is delicious. They have a great deli and great baked goods. It is simple and that is why it works - they have been providing the same delicious menu for years. Most delis start to scrimp on the sandwich after they have sucked you in but not the Herring Choker. Go and ask for the veggie on oatmeal bread and you will be satisfied. By the way the Ingonish Sandwich is two pieces of french bread, fried egg, bacon, ketchup, mayo and strawberry jam. Better if you eat it in Ingonish near the ocean. What is your favorite sandwich and where can I find it!!

It smells like summer

Well I am back. Finished Family Expo, and returning from Cape Breton after the loss of my father. I will miss my father everyday for the rest of my life, he was one of the good guys. I do take solace in the fact that the smells of summer bring back so many happy memories of him. My father was sick for almost six months during which he was in bed for almost 4 months. Before this, he was an active senior - he loved to garden, take morning walks along the Sydney River, mow the lawn, or at least in the last few years tell people how to mow his lawn. He loved the way his property looked in the summer, all decked out in blossoms, snowballs and lilacs. The smell of over an acre of fresh mowed grass, and the fragrances of the flowers, saw his chest burst with pride. He was born in Westmount in 1924 and lived in a farm house there until it burned down when he was 10 or 11. His sister and brother spent the winter months of that year with families in the community, while my father bunked into the barn with his parents for a winter they wouldn't soon forget. The community then built them a new house in the spring and he would see his father and mother die in that home and eventually raise his family in chez Morrison. On Monday of last week, he arrived via ambulance to his birthplace. Struggling to breath the whole journey, he then arrived to his home. Exhausted from lack of sleep, weakened by the past six months of fighting for his life, the attendant brought his bed around to the front door of his home. The smells and colors that day where spiritual. He opened his eyes wide and took it all in. I don't think he was ever ready to stop fighting or as they say "meet his maker" but he knew he was in the only paradise he had ever known - his home. He died 12 hours later in his sleep. That was just one day in his life, I will remember picking cherries in August, late night barbecues, days gone by stories told on the front deck . . . the smells of summer - here for such a short time and do we really ever appreciate them as much as we should? Do you live your life to fullest?

WHY DO WE DO FAMILY EXPO?

Just about every year around this time I start to question our decision to produce Family Expo. A two day event which we prepare for almost nine months of the year. Our families become blurs in the weeks heading up to the show, and we both wake up many nights with panic stricken "Did we forget" thoughts which lead to many sleepless nights. Besides Family Expo we have other jobs - my sister currently is working a full time contract for our Provincial Gov't and I manage rental properties and marketing for my husband's photography business. We have several volunteer roles which definitely take a back burner in the coming weeks. Why do we do it? Because it does good work. Kids have fun with their families, families get to spend a day together, people learn in a welcoming atmosphere,so for just a few headaches we put on a pretty great show. Sometimes the good we do becomes lost in the chaos that it takes to get us there. I guess that is ok, but it seems we should enjoy the ride more and worry less if there will be a disaster when we get there. Do you have to continue telling yourself you do good work? Is this a female thing?

RON CLARK IS COMING

For many kids school can be sometimes an interference in their already important lives. I am sure I went through that sometimes, but for the most part I loved going to school. I loved the class discussion, social interaction and most of my teachers. Of course I had some crappy ones - ones that read directly from the text book the whole period, ones that had an Irish accents and were teaching French, ones that only survived half the year and needed a "vacation". Sure I have some good stories about Teachers Gone Bad, but more importantly I had so many that motivated, cared and mentored me. There was Ms. MacNeil - Grade 4 Coxheath Elementary - just out of Teachers College. She was a delight. She smiled, laughed, raised our preverbial bar, and we responded with one heck of shower when we found out she was pregnant. Oh yes, Ms. Dicks ( no really that was her name) - Grade 6 stylish, contemporary and project oriented. The guys loved her and the girls wanted to be her. She got us ready for junior high, even through the hormonal stuggle we were all facing. Mrs. Sheppard - Grade 11 Math. I convinced myself I sucked at Math in Grade 8 (that story is for another blog) and it was the Mrs. Sheppard with her Math Bone that made me exit high school with a passing grade and some dignity. Most of all I have to say my favorite teacher was Archie Risk - Grade 7 Social Studies. His classroom embodied respect, equality, firmness and warmth. Quizes everyday, exciting projects, high expectations and above all love, which at the tender age of 13 is not always received very well. What I am trying to say is that besides parenting, this is probably the most important vocation and avocation. Anyone can get an education degree if they put their mind to it. Anyone can go through the motions, follow the curriculum and pick up their cheque. But some teachers change our lives, I mean it, they sculpt who we are to become. Ron Clark is this kind of teacher.If you want to be inspired, if you want to inspire your child's teacher, if you are a teacher and want to be recharged - Come see Ron Clark!Bring your child's teacher, Bring your friends and family May 30 at Exhibition Park 5:30 to 7 pm. For more information visit www.familyexpo.ca

FAMILY EXPO

I can't believe it was almost seven years ago that my sister and I started thinking about Family Expo. Now as we celebrate our fifth year it is truly bitter sweet. This year we have the best speakers and the best line up of entertainment and with all the odds against us it seems like it could be our best to date. The bitter is that in the excitement, we are dealing with the illness of our father. What keeps us going is hearing in the back of our minds, his many words of advice over the years - "complete the job, do the best you can, what is the worst that can happen, we are here for you". Words of advice taken so loosely when given to us and then cherished so much in our memories. My sister and I will complete the job. We will do the best that we can. Together we can do it. We know our friends and family are here for us. What is the best piece of advice your family has given you? Have you passed it on?

DON'T BE NICE TO ME

At some point in our lives we will experience some sort of loss or the sickness of loved one, and there is no doubt running through your mind as people bestow kindness on you - you will be thinking . . . don't be nice to me. What I mean is, in times when your emotions are all wrapped in the loss of someone, people hugging you, bringing you coffee, even opening a door for you, all these acts of kindness can lead you to - convulsing tears.

My dad has been sick for a couple of months, stricken with sudden symptoms of Parkinsons Disease, his inability to swallow has seen a man who was last year 170 lbs reduced to 110 lbs. On his road to recovery there have been many ups and downs and yesterday he hit another bump. In the time of about 12 hours he became seriously ill and we were told his chances were not good. Between yesterday and today, the outpouring of kindness has been unbelievable, strangers and friends alike have reached out to us and given their shoulders to cry on. Today I am walking around in a daze, crying on demand to those simple acts of humanity that we sometimes forget amongst the stock market crashes, wars, teen violence and celebrity gossip. I am exhausted and there are times when I feel I can't cry anymore, times when I think for a moment please don't be nice to me. But they are few and far between, crying is the release and honestly I love the kindness people have shown my family. From now on I will embrace this humanity because in a world with so little of it, I need to suck it up and pass it on. How do you handle loss and what has helped you?

IT SMELLS LIKE CHILDHOOD

what a day! It is Saturday and this day looks like spring! My kids got up this morning and before they could turn on the TV, they said bring on the shorts we are going to play road hockey. Hogan my oldest, who is known on the street as the King of Kensington, got on the phone and set up the game!

Having to do several things today one which was taking my mom to see my dad at the hospital. I did the unthinkable. I let my kids go up the street and play. Oh yes, I let my neighbors know I was going and told the kids to run to their house if need be, but I left them.

No sooner did I carry my moms possession up to dads room in the hospital when my cell phone rang. My youngest had had his feelings hurt and was on his way home - to NO ONE!! Yikes, full of fear ( the legacy of my ancestors) I ran from the hospital, leaving my parents one more thing to worry about and took off for home. Was he hit by a car, was he abducted, was he sitting at home by himself sobbing without his mommy - I repeated over and over to myself - bad mommy - bad mommy.

This is the state of where we are today, even my neurotic, over protective mother kicked me out of the house in the morning, and hoped not to see me again until 5 pm. Whether its the media, internet, urban myths, or whatever we are afraid to let our children run free. I mean we need moderation. Sure we don't want them to live on the streets but we need to let go a little. I know I am a good one to talk but when I got my kid was fine. What do you think are we too overprotective or are we justified in our neurosis?

THE DAY SAVING MOTHER EARTH CAUSED A BIG FIGHT

Hey I would be the first to say we need to look at our consumption and make it stop, but I am as guilty as the next over consumer. I love the way certain things are packaged, I love a funky pair of shoes and sometimes stuff sits in my fridge and never gets opened until it goes bad. I spend most of my time telling my kids don't be caught up in the way things look, don't jump on the next fad and definitely eat everything on your plate because the majority of the world is starving and we have so much. I am such a hypocrit!

Well that is how it started this morning. Yesterday there was a TV commercial being shot in my hubbys studio that is connected to our house - sounds exciting - no its not. I had to be out of the house most of the day and when I did get back home I had to go down into our basement to do my work because I wasn't allowed to make any noise. So I turned on the TV and lights down there and turned the heat up because it was so damp. Shortly after that one of my children came screaming home and needed me desparately. Luckily the commercial gig was over. I ran upstairs and got what they needed. Like most moms I was assigned several new tasks as the family came home, plus I was still doing my work and putting in a wash - oh yes and making supper too (wow I have come a long way baby) I digress. . . the point is I never got back downstairs. This is where it gets ugly.

This morning Jim woke up and started off saying the bed was too hot - he wanted me to push over but I couldn't because I 7 year old had come in in the middle of the night. P.S. recently my mother warned me this could be hurting my marriage. Thanks mom! Anyway, shortly after that Jim started calling me out - "you left the light, heat and TV on last night - what are you thinking - you call yourself Ms. Conservation (I don't but anyway) and you waste eletricity like that!" I then responded with at least I don't drive an SUV.

Things were so much easier in the 50's when we knew so little or at least we said we did. No really I have made a commitment to Mother Earth and I regret being so forgetful. Like my diet, today is a new day. Today I will do better for her! What are your best conservation tips and does anyone else argue about saving Mother Earth?

EASTER HAD MANY EMOTIONS

I am a holidayaholic and nothing makes me happier than crafting, baking, event planning etc. It is what I love to do and it helps me with my other problem of procrastination. When I have real work to do or problems to deal with, a good holiday forces me to forget the important stuff and deal with the fun stuff.

This weekend started off with the best neighborhood easter egg hunt I have ever been to. About 20 families gathered at my friend Laurie's house. Earlier in the morning a couple of mothers hid the eggs and then starting at 9:30 the kids went crazy and hunted down the Easter Eggs.

The rest of the day was beautiful and that was a good thing because after that my emotions went on some type of roller coaster ride. Sure I went through the rest of the weekend with a smile on my face but I couldn't help feel a certain sadness as my family faced a different type of Easter away from our spring trip to Cape Breton. Having Dad in hospital for the holidays got the best of me. Mom was all about the what we used to do, my sister was dealing with her kids being too old for Easter festivities and my kids just seem to be in commercial Easter mode.

Church has always played a part in my Easter but not this year. It seems my faith is changing and like most things right now, the issue is way too complexed to deal with. On Saturday, Mom boiled some eggs for Dad to decorate but his hands seemed unusually affected by Parkinson's but he did the best he could. On Sunday after we went to some crazy Doggie Easter Egg Hunt in Point Pleasant, we headed down to the hospital. I held Dad's hands as his were warm from the overheated hospital and mine were cold from Nova Scotia's false spring. He is no longer my protector, our roles have changed and I am ok with that. It makes me sad though. I finished that day off with a great Easter supper with Jim and the kids - we ate, watched Masters Golf and then built a blanket fort. Easter was different, full of many emotions, but it was good. What I know is things are changing in my life and I need to accept it and ride that rollercoaster! How do you deal with change, what works for you?

MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

Don't get me wrong, I love my children. But today I am trying to work on Family Expo, complete funeral arrangements for my mother-in-law, handle PTA issues, visit my dad in the hospital, plan a bday party for my son and force (encourage my kids to practice piano). To help out I have asked my eldest to help his brother practice piano , this has turned out to be a nightmare. Screaming and crying, yelling and hitting - no kidding! My perfect little family has turned into a warzone. "Calgon take me away" How can two kids that love each other most of the time turn into such enemies? and I don't mean me and my hubby, but come to think of it we are not that much better just minus the hitting! What family dynamics to you face?

Hey my sister (also my partner in Family Expo) had a moment. We were talking about our Easter plans and she had a meltdown over the fact that her babies are not Easter Egg hunting anymore. It is different this year, we usually go to Cape Breton and everybody searches for eggs on Easter morning, but this year with Dad in the hospital and Mom staying in between our homes, Samantha my niece at university and Nash my nephew 17 years old, we won't be having the same traditions. How do we cope with change? How do we start new traditions and is it ok to mourn the old ones?

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD

Started this morning in a pretty good mood - Fridays have always brought a smile to my face because for some reason my somewhat structured life comes unglued on the weekend and I love that. I went for a walk with my dog and met some neighborhood mommies for coffee. Throughout the day my work presented me with some good deals and some that fell through, but a friend phoned with a beautiful story about how she made it through the loss of her mother, a childhood friend emailed with a "this is what's going on in my family right now"letter and my sister and I sought comfort in each other about our father's Parkinsons illness. These people made me feel good! TGIF and thank God for these people! What brought a smile to your face today?

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE

This weekend my kids played in medal rounds for basketball and hockey - it was one exciting weekend.

On the weekends, we visit my husband's mother at a nursing home about 10 minutes from where we live. Unfortunately, the boys were so busy with sporting events, Jim had to make the visit on his own. He came back after the visit with the news that his mom seemed to be failing.

We woke up yesterday morning to find out she had passed away in her sleep. We were shocked! This was a lady who had been through an unbelievably challenging life, suffering from severe depression and many other maladies. Our family walked through yesterday in somewhat of a daze, crying, laughing, reminiscing over the good times and bad times that made up my mother-in-laws life.

Kindly my sister offered to help me clean out her room at the nursing home . We decided we would do it, as I thought it would be easier for me than for my husband. Wow, was I wrong. As we walked down the halls of the nursing home, it seemed almost scary. We walked into her room and it appeared smaller without her there. We both agreed it shouldn't take long, but this small room had an unbelievable amount of memorabilia. After we packed her things, we turned off the lights and shut the door. She had been on this earth for 81 years and now she was gone. We then got back into my sister's van and drove to see my dad in hospital. We said few words which unusual for us. How do we pick ourselves up? What do we learn from such life experiences?

MOMS EMBRACING TECHNOLOGY

A few years ago, my kids used their birthday money to buy the standard gameboy. My hubby and I have been in agreement regarding limiting their time on this technology, and we have not given into (yet) purchasing any other game systems. We are minorities when it comes to this. Their gameboys are hardly used anymore, because they have became relics, they don't even make games for their type of gameboys. Hogan my eldest did receive an ipod for Christmas this year, and has become a music fanatic since receiving it. Although as parents we like that he loves music, we want to ensure he doesn't spend too much time in ipod isolation, and we have to monitor everything he listens to.

As a kid, teen and adult, I have been slow to jump on the technology bandwagon, but now have learned that as a mom who has her own business, technology has become a necessity. I have a laptop, blackberry, joined facebook, sold things on kijiji, bought on amazon and ebay, and now have entered the world of twitter. It has taken me awhile to realize the value of these new forms of communication, but I have to tell you, I like them. As a mom entrepreneur, it is so important that I can do my business whenever I have a moment between pta, hockey, walking my dog, and working on a couple of businesses I own. It has allowed me (in my own little world) to accomplish what I need to do, and feel good at the end of the day! I can honestly say it has allowed me to go to bed some nights guilt free. How does technology work for you as a mom? How do you safeguard your family from technology isolation? join twitter and connect with some great mom sites - twitter moms for sure! It already has 10,000 moms across the globe connecting to do business and sharing mom entrepreneur advice.

YOUR INFLUENCE

As parents, the largest responsibility we have on our children is our influence. What is so amazing about children is how quick they catch onto things like languages - technology. It is what makes these little sponges so amazing, and what makes our jobs as mentors, parents, teachers, leaders, so vitally important. My parents were very involved in politics growing up, and so my first political speech was made standing on my desk in grade 3 in support of the provincial candidate they were working for at the time. Sitting around our dinner table, my parents would discuss everything from politics to sports, fashion to local gossip, homework to friends. Although they included us, it was their opinions which molded us. As we got older, others would share this job - our teachers, ministers, peers. It is then, my sister and I started to become people with our own opinions. After graduation from university, I moved home for awhile. I realized my opinions were taking on a life of their own. One morning my dad and I got in a heated argument about a social issue. As I stood staring him in the eye, I realized I was all grown up. My parents, leaders, teachers, peers had given me the tools, but I was to build my own opinions. What we do and say leaves a large imprint on our kids. We are not perfect but we must be prepared for the consequences of this responsibility. Who has influenced you for the better and what influences are you having on the children you interact with?

SHE'S A LITTLE CHATTY

I was an average student - very involved in school activities - very social! On almost every report card would be the following - "Suzanne is a good student, but she is a little chatty!" I even received this same comment on a employment evaluation in my 20's - "you have great ideas, you get a long with everyone, but you are a bit chatty." In my 40's I have become wise to my faults, and have tried to turn them around to a positive. I started my own business so I wouldn't have to have someone tell me to stop being so chatty, and I have turned my "chattiness" into good relationship marketing. Sometimes as a child what are elders see as a negative is really a positive. Some children are chastized for reading too much and being introverted, they often become the ones to capture their imagination on paper and become writers. Some are told they daydream too much, they may become inventors or entrepreneurs. Last year a teacher yelled at my son because he was picking up an ant, she said "we have to leave nature alone". On the other hand if we don't touch and feel nature how will we know how best to protect it. Those who live off the land have always been our best conservation advocates. What I am trying to say is what some see as a fault maybe a blessing in disguise. What blessings were misread in your life? How did it affect you?

THE OLIVE BRANCH

Family is very important to me. I have a very close family - I grew up with two parents who were in love and still are, and one sister who is my best friend and working partner. I spend most of my life trying to create that environment for husband and boys today! On the weekend, my sister and I met my 19 year old niece at a pub in downtown Halifax, and had a great time. On Sunday I hosted a small birthday celebration for my 17 year old nephew with all of the family on hand. My sister attended my son's hockey tournament on the weekend and shared in the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

On opposite ends of this story is my father who until recently hadn't spoken to his brother for almost 30 years. Both ended up in hospital in Halifax. An olive branch was extended by my cousin (my father's niece) and a couple of days later my uncle showed up in wheelchair to my fathers bedside. The things that had once splintered this relationship were no longer important anymore. What ties a family together is sometimes easily broken but only for the time it takes someone to connect it again. We love a good family reunion story, we need to be a part of a tribe, family, pack or posse. What connects your family? Have you ever been disconnected from your family, how did you make your way back?

LIVE FOR TODAY

Every once in awhile I am touched by an event that stays with me for days - sometimes they are good news stories and sometimes bad. I woke up this morning and read in the paper that Hollywood actress Natasha Richardson had died from a fall on a bunnyhill at a ski resort in Quebec. I, like most parents, am always touched by stories that leave families in loss of a parent. Natasha Richardson is the wife of famed actor Liam Neeson, and the mother of two boys aged 12 and 13. The loss of a parent at anytime in your life has such an impact on the family. I had two friends who lost parents in high school, and the impact on their lives was awesome. As a person who suffers from health anxiety, and as a daughter who almost lost her 84 year old father this year, I really have to take these negative events and try to work through them. A therapist once told me in times of despair, seek out the things that make you smile. And although challenging, try to live in the moment for as long as you can to get through the sadness. I pass this on to the family of Natasha Richardson, the families of the helicopter victims in Newfoundland and anyone who today mourns the loss of loved one whether it happened yesterday, a year ago and 25 years ago. So what did I do this morning when I got up, crept in and smelled the scent of 7 year old, woke my kids up, tickled them, bathed them, talked to them, and planned our day. Screw work, laundry, and me time, today we are going to do crafts, because we really only have today! That is what Eckhart Tolle (author of A New Earth, The Power of Now") tells us, and today I will take his advice. What other advice do you have to get through loss?

THINGS I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND . . .this morning

If you follow my blog in any regularity in the future you will soon realize, I suffer from insomnia. It is something I plan to work out through meditation, relaxation methods and possibly warm milk, but I am not there yet. So I woke up this morning struggling to wake up, and I am still not there yet. Two cups of seriously strong coffee, and I am still foggy. So I thought I would just list off things this morning happening in our world that already have me perplexed:

1. in a time of recession/depression video game sales are souring
2. people who stay angry
3. the medical system
4. the education system
5. how AIG management justify millions of dollars in bonuses for leading their company to destruction, when in my whole life I only received a bonus if my sales hit the roof.
6. why I stay up to watch American Idol
7. how do I have so many socks that don't match
8. why Canadians talk National when the don't include east of Montreal
9. why we seem to be throwing our connectors away newspapers, cbc, magazines etc.
10. why yesterday I spent 100.00 in groceries and I need to back to the grocery store again today!

Anything perplexing you today? Writing this out made me feel really good - try it!

THE SPAGHETTI CHALLENGE

We hear it all the time - families that do things together end up being healthier physically and emotionally, and we all know it is true. But. . . we are all busy, and sometimes it is can be easier to sit in front of a tv, go off to the gym ourselves, or grab a meal on the go. Although my clan are a highly emotional bunch, and we are far from perfect, my family does a pretty good job of doing things together. Still, we can get caught up in the hurried family effect. Tonight, we did something that made me realize how important family time is to our children. Last night at supper, my hubby and I were comparing our cooking skills, all of sudden our youngest came up with the idea to have mommy and daddy have a spaghetti cook off. The banter started. And when there was any inkling that the event wouldn't happen the kids became outraged. The event was happening, and that was all there was to it. We set out this morning, each with a purpose to make the best damn spaghetti we ever made. Highly emotional yes, overly competitive definitely! We kept our ideas close to our chests, and the cook off began. We had a great dinner, with each of our two children scoring us on presentation, taste and style. I regret to say the winner was DAD, but after he was declared the winner, they both stroked my ego by saying they really liked mine too. It made me realize that in our hurried lives sometime my kids want to drive the car, and sometimes we even want to go were they are going. Do you need to be reminded from time to time to enjoy your family and just slow down?

MARCH BREAK - I'M SCARED

This week I am working full time on Family Expo - Andree and I have a thousand things to do. But because I am around the house I didn't put the kids in any activities. I am also in the rink about two hours a day for hockey tournaments. For some reason even though my hubby and I are both working, I am still the primary planner. No matter what your profession, why is it that moms are still getting the babysitters, doing the laundry, making the lunches, registering the kids in activities? Do you have shared responsibities? How do you do it? Is it ok to rant about your partners early 1800's point of view? I love my husband and he vacuums, sweeps, cooks some suppers but I do the most of the 1950's mother/wife work and am trying to be a professional. When we burned our bras, should we have burned our aprons too?

GUILTY PLEASURE, OBSESSION, HOBBIE - WE ALL HAVE THEM - LET'S EMBRACE THEM!

WOW, I woke up this morning and my husband and my son were off to hockey practice. A sense of relief hit me. After they return our day is free. Sure we need to get supper, visit our parents in their hospital and seniors homes, walk the dog, but otherwise we were free. My youngest got up and said "Mom can I watch TV all morning?" A ha, at 7 years old he admits his first guilty pleasures - watching tv and relaxing. I started mine off with listening to CBC's Michael Enright for 2 hours straight with several cups of coffee. Then I planned my second guilty pleasure a trip to Frenchys (second hand shopping), third I am psyched to watch the Housewives of New York City at 10 tonight. Are these lame? - yes, but they make me happy. Some guilty pleasures you want to tell the world about, example "I love to work out at the gym every morning", others you keep underwrap "I will not miss ABC's The Bachelor". I use to hide my guilty pleasures - at night I like to read magazines instead of a book, I like WHITE BREAD!, I can spend two hours in Shoppers Drug Mart - at 44 I am less likely to protect the image of my perception of what I think others want me to be. What is your guilty pleasure and as you get wiser do you feel freer to be the real you?

IS A MOTHER ALWAYS MOTHERING?

Woke up this morning at about 5:30 and started to do some laundry - it seems so crazy but my insomnia has become a great time for me time. Yep, it comes down to that, laundry in my books is equated to a spa day. No really, I grab a coffee, turn on the radio and spend some time with myself. When I heard some sounds from upstairs I went up to see my oldest son (10 years) slip in bed with his nanny (my mom is staying with us while my dad is in hospital) and he was telling her all about his day - it was sweet. There she was doing what she has always done listening. This tranquil moment soon changed when she came downstairs and started to make breakfast. I sat down with her to have tea and then she proceeded to tell me how she hopes she wasn't in our way and she hated that I was doing her wash. Was she a bother? OH MY GOD - you sacrificed your whole life for me this is the least I can do. When do you stop being a mother? Does this unique love/hate relationship continue forever? Will I be telling my boys to pick up their underwear when their in their forties?

Do I do it for the thanks?

If I said I am happy to see the end of my kids school winter carnival would it be wrong? This week I became consumed with my kids school winter carnival - I helped them make costumes for Character Day, put great hats together for crazy hat day, helped organize a gym and spaghetti night and served hot chocolate to all the kids on the last day. Why do we try to do too much? One mother asked me "Are you trying to be mother of the year?" Am I? I think I do it because I had one heck of a great mother and she made it look really easy - granted she was a stay at homer but this week so was I - I let my work slide, ignored my wash, wore lots of ponytails and one time went to the grocery store in my pyjamas? Am I crazy? Why do we do more than we have too?

Trying to do it all

Yep, I woke up this morning around 5:oo am and faced my stress head on. . . what was my stress, - work, finance, marriage, ill father, stressed mother? no, none of the above - it was what were the kids going to do for hair for crazy hair day at their school winter carnival - priorities out of check . . . yes. Why do we feel as mothers we have to do it all? How do make time for ourselves without feeling guilty? Got any advice?

Calling all volunteers

You know you should do it - volunteer that is, your busy, tired, stressed - what does it take to motivate people in an already incredibly busy world?

sandwich generation

There is no doubt that the Family Expo focus has been targeted at the younger family and we always have that in mind. But as my sister and I get older and our families do too, we feel the need to address the issues affecting us because that is what we know. And although we can't do everything at our show we can talk about it online.

Subject of the day - Sandwich generation - Have you talked with your parents about their plans for the future (ie. seniors homes, home care, etc.)